Making Dreams and Desires Work: Alignment, Energy, and Grounded Action

Hi Shinies,

What we want and our goals in life start from dreams and desires. Dreams and desires work together in synergy, because a dream is made by small fulfilled desires. Every desire brings us closer to our dream life. But what are they exactly?

Dreams

Dreams are long-term goals and usually come with a feeling of fulfillment. This emotion is based on our experience and the perspective we hold. We change over the course of our life, and with us the details or the main idea of the dream also change; but not the feeling of being fulfilled.

Desires

Desires are a short term-goal, and they carry a feeling of “needing something” and/or “wanting to experience something different”.

The desire is the spark that steers the wheel of action, leading us to move in the direction of what we want and what we think we want. Yes, thinking that something is what we want doesn't necessarily mean that we are actually on board with what comes as a consequence of it.

Let's debunk that. Shall we?

Desires born from within, can take their shape from two different places.

One is very down-to-earth: it is the necessity to fulfill a need or a lack of something in our life, or experience something different in our life.The second one, is more spiritual, mysterious and unclear. This desire has more of a blurrier definition of itself because it comes with a feeling of something unborn and/or unaccomplished.

The desire is the feeling of something that we want in our lives. It is deeply connected to our emotions, and to become manifested, it passes through a process that I want to divide in phases to better understand.

The Process of Desire Becoming Action

Phase one : The Judgment

In the first step, our automatic ego takes this desire and starts to analyze it through very specific filters.These filters are: traumas, wounds, beliefs and repressed aspects of ourselves.

There are three different options here: 

1. The desire slowly dies or goes into stasis, because it doesn’t match the parameters that our ego applies to it in at that specific moment.

   
   

2. The desire gets approved by the ego and jumps to the next phase. 

   
   

3. The desire has a high level of emotional charge, bypasses the ego parameters, and goes straight away to the next phase.

This is where our desire becomes what we want or just stays as a mere desire in stasis, waiting for a better time or circumstance.

Phase Two: The How and What

In this phase, what we want, passes through a planning stage. The main questions are “How do we get there?” and “What do we need to do?”

I say the main questions because these two are the initiators of the process. More questions may follow, and are analysed and based on: the experience, the perspective, and the belief system that we have at that specific moment in time.

To understand what this means, I will give a simple example: 

How many times do we look back and say to ourselves “I should've made this choice instead of this one” or “if I had the chance to go back in time, I would have acted differently”?

This is the answer:

To gain the experience, we need to make the experience. To change perspective, we need to go through situations that allow us to do so. To change the belief system, we need to question and remove beliefs that no longer serve us.

Phase Three: The Action

This phase is the actual work that brings the desired outcome to fruition. It is also where the people think that they get stuck and give up. There are two possible outcomes:

1. The actions meet enough resistance that challenges the person without crashing their determination and the spirit. It is usually here that the person can reach and enjoy the acquired objective.

   
   

2. Earlier I said “People think that they get stuck”. Most of us usually lay the blame on the desire or the circumstances. However, the real problem is the person’s level of awareness in relation to the internal dynamics that are going on. Because of a strongly charged emotion, the desire bypasses The Judgement by jumping directly to this phase of the process, which is inherently conscious. The awareness we need to have to make a conscious and successful plan of action is regards: traumas, wounds, beliefs, and repressed aspects of ourselves. When we don’t know our subconscious instances, we are failing in the planning process.

 Let’s explain this with an example:

Let’s say, that we have the desire to do skydiving. We desire it so much that we bypass our Judgment phase. We start to plan the “What” and “How”. We, then book a session. When the day comes, we chicken out so much that we start to feel sick, ending up canceling everything.

Let’s say that in our childhood we had to change houses often, and with that, the environment and friends. We never felt a sense of stability and control because our parents were constantly moving us from city to city. To compensate for our parent's inability to provide what we needed at that time; stability and control; we developed an over-controlling behaviour. We are not only trying to control our environment but also the people around us. This reflects and impacts our relationships and our job. Despite our efforts, it seems that the more in control we want to be, the more things are actually going out of control.

This leads us to become unmanageable for anybody, including ourselves. We stop truly living our life because we are so constantly worried about not “having everything under control” that the life that we started to live is quite a miserable. We start to hate and blame ourselves for being such a control freak. That costs us so much in the course of our life that now we are sick and tired of this way of living. We decide to do something extreme to challenge our control; skydiving.

We can say that we really didn’t know what the main issue was or what we were exactly trying to achieve. But at the same time, we "think that we know”. So we go ballistic towards something that is really deep and wounded, and in order to keep us functioning, we develop different coping strategies and behaviour to self-regulate. 

It wasn’t the desire that was the problem, but not knowing how deep those coping strategies were. Maybe the shift we needed was not about the controlling the environment but the controlling our internal world through doing therapy, reading a self-help book, meditation, or anything that helps us regulate. We can create stability within ourselves and, from there, regain our life one step at a time.

The Spiritual Aspect of Dreams and Desires

Dreams: The Element of Akasha

Dreams belong to the element of Akasha (AKA spirit or Ether). They are manifestations of potential energy within the soul. They are characterized by the signature vibration that the soul wants to achieve in this lifetime and the type of dream is defined by that specific feeling attached to it. Our process is to translate a vibration into something that we can visualise and achieve on a physical plane of existance. 

What determines our capacity to translate that vibration into something physical is based upon: our self-awareness, openness, skills, and belief system at the moment of the translation. This is the reason why dreams can change but not the signature feeling. A dream is meant to initiate an expansion of the soul's experience. After one dream, there is another, and then another, and so on. It is an eternal dance for expansion. It doesn’t really matter how we get to meet that vibration, because there are infinite ways. Only we can be the judge of what is the better match to that vibration. What makes it unique is our decisions and responses to the experience itself.

Desires: The Element of Fire

Desires belong to the Fire element. They are the fuel that keep us moving forward; They are the spark that ignites the engine. When we want something as part of ourselves, we try to attract something towards us. It is like a game of “tug-of-war”. Until we reach the object of our desires. It is a compelling energy. However, like fire, it needs to be constantly fed or it will dim and eventually die. A desire, like fire, can blaze up distructively and consume us through obsession, which is the shadow aspect of desire.

What is needed for the desire to keep burning are motives, feelings, and a clear vision of what we are after. Often, we lose one of the three, and the desire dissipates until it dies. Sometimes, we think it dies, but it just shifts into something else. What makes the desire blaze up is the lack of empowerment. Being stuck in that state of being, push the desire to its extreme, where it becomes detrimental and self-destructive. Pulling out from obsession is hard, but not impossible. It requires an equal amount of energy to counter the lack of power. If we face the source of the feeling of being powerless and heal it, obsession cease to be necessary, and the rectification of desire becomes more natural and fluid.

What makes the desire a "bad thing" for many religions is actually the transformative nature uncontrollability; not because we get lose control, but because we become out of their control. When we embark on a journey to obtain a desire, we always end up being a different person by the end of the process, because we need to learn something, question beliefs, and shift the way we see the world. This is a process that nobody can control because it is the unpredictable and unstoppable bioproduct of it. 

There is a stigma about wanting something. Some desires are accepted or or considered valid and others not. From a universal perspective, everything is valid if done with love. The difference lies in whether the desire is rooted in love or not. When it is in the shadow aspect, we are not operating from love but from lack of it. Sometimes desires are conditioned; we are familiar with the saying “you cannot have everything”. From a universal perspective, you actually can have everything you want, but we being trained on putting a condition to and compromise what we want, which leads us to a bitter taste because we only get part of what we truly want. 

We try to minimize and normalize it and tell ourselves that we are content with what we have. It is not actually possible. The presence of our soul creates a constant thirst for expansion. We convince ourselves that we are fine with what we have, but it is not true. This occurs either from a lack of awareness of inner dynamics, such as wounds that play a role in our subconscious, or for a strong belief system that we don’t dare question.

How do we move from here? How can we answer the call of our dreams? How can we make our desires as conscious as possible?

1 - Identify exactly what we want.

What I mean by that. It is your personal process; and there is no good or bad answer. What we want, is an answer no matter what it is. In this approach, allow yourself to ride the flow of question and answer. This means, be completely open and allow the answers to come to you without forcing them. Allow the conversation within yourself to start and try to just be present. 

To help you out, you can visualize the desire and talk to it so you are engaging in a more detached way and, make the feelings and answers an information to watch and listen to. Also, curiosity is the key.

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I will do the exercise to give you an example. Use the same questions for yourself and if you feel that you want to ask different ones,or add more of them, please be free to do so.

Exercise:

I always dreamed of a house by the beach with only a few houses around. 

Why do I want a house by the beach?

It gives me a sense of belonging and openness. 

Why do I want to have only a few houses around?

It feels resting and free.

Why do I need belonging and openness?

Because I never felt like I truly belonged somewhere, and I was; and I still am; always in somebody else's space that restricts my sense of expression. I never felt a place as mine, so I never invested much into it.

Why is it so important to overcome restrictions?

Because I love to decorate and make a place that reflects who I am. I cannot do that in a place that isn't mine. I feel like I cannot lay any roots in any place.

Why do I associate belonging and openness with a house by the beach?

Yes, because I grew up on the coast. I opened the window and smelled the ocean in every season. It feels like home because it is familiar. The sea always holds a special place in my soul, providing comfort to a degree that no other place ever had.

Is the desire for a few houses connected to feeling restricted?

Absolutely yes. The freedom to do as I please without limitations.

Where is this need coming from?

I always felt like I am too much for people. This was confirmed at some point by being told so. As a consequence, I had to dim myself to avoid disrupting somebody else's equilibrium, emotionally and mentally. Now I understand it was always about them, not me being too much. I want to be free and not deal with somebody else's boundaries or limitations.

Why are you still resisting the problem of limiting yourself?

Because in my personal space I want peace and quiet and that is 100% compatible with no restrictions.

Recap: Make questions to understand the motives of why you dream and desire that specific thing. We want to go deeper with each question.

2 - Analyze and find key factors that determine motives.

We want to see if the desire comes from a place of resistance, which helps identify the type of wound we need to heal.

In my exercise, the key words are: belonging, openness, resting and freedom.

Throughout the conversation I understood that:

Belonging wants to compensate for the disconnection from things I don’t feel as mine and people who want me to be less me. This comes from attachment to external elements. It doesn’t come from within.

Openness and freedom are very similar. They want to compensate for the restrictions and lack of freedom of expression. They want to make space and create space for me. These are coming from within.

Restfulness compensate for years of internal battle to dim myself for the sake of belonging. This feels that it comes from within.

When a desire comes from within, we can control the actual outcome, because it comes from you and only you.

When it is connected to an external element the probability of successfully controlling it goes down exponentially depending on how many elements are present and the type of elements. 

Further analysis:

Within: It is a feeling that it is not a resistance but more an expansion and a way to remove myself from a survival response. 

What helped me to understand this, was the sensation of being lighter and relaxed which I usually can achieve through meditation. It is an improvement and it is not attached to outside elements. I can adjust and play with the world around me to get that part of the desire met by just following those feelings.

Not within: The belonging is more connected to a physical place and the sense of being part of a tribe. 

This is also a basic need that is also connected to our root chakra. (AKA: The first energy centre located on the pelvic floor) If you want to understand the root chakra more deeply, I explore it in detail in my article Healing the Survival State: Understanding and Working With the Root Chakra).  

How do I play with it? 

Well, my house needs to be somewhere by the sea, this means that there are 3 factors:

1. Find a place by the sea that resonates with me.

   
   

2. The place needs to not be very populated so I can met the requirements of space.

   
   

3. I need to deal with the availability of finding a house for sale that matches the first 2 points.

I didn’t mention the cost or the climate because it will be too long, but I definitely will include that in my analysis of the desire if I want to be more precise.

The tribe and the wound it created, I need to work on healing that first, before I approach this desire, otherwise rather than expand it, it contracts, because I am not addressing the issue. Because I already started this process a few months ago, I am headed with this.

The rejection I perceived wasn’t because I was doing something wrong or bad; it was the people struggling to swallow the perspective that I was offering. 

I allow myself to feel compassion for my part self that for years tried and blamed himself. I had to tell him that wasn’t his fault all along. And from there, I started to stop dimming myself and I started to meet people that are more in alignment with my true self. For the ones that I knew already some of them adjusted to the change others drifted away. I started to feel a deeper sense of belonging within myself. Even if I am not fully there yet.

Recap: We want to identify the keywords and from what we experienced emotionally, determine if desire comes from within or not, define a plan of action so that we can move consciously in the right direction.

This is not exhaustive but it is a starting point for working in a more conscious and empowered way towards creating your own world.

A Hug From The Deep.

Fabio.